AN ILLUSION OF THE MIND
CONTROL
I spend an exorbitant amount of my energy creating strategies to address “potential” future realities that haven’t manifested or may never become a present truth. Dedication to such activities that I veil under “preparation” is really posturing to evade my own truth I’M MORE COMFORTABLE WHEN I CAN CONTROL WHAT IS NEXT. There I said it. I know what your thinking...no one can control the future. That is where you are wrong, my “reality” (or perception of life through the lenses I choose to peruse) told me that if I consciously run through all the scenarios and create counter scenarios & strategic plans to address what may never happen, if anything should arise I will be equipped to pivot & not perish. The thought that being unprepared somehow leads to perishing is another blog post alone. One of the most powerful illusions I have created is that I have control. This realization came from a late-night rendezvous of walking & talking. I never knew you could visually see me overthinking and processing. Ample credit must be given to my beau who seems to see through my facade peering into my soul for sport. I am releasing the illusion of control as a defense for vulnerability, failure, fight or flight, etc. Living in the moment and appreciating each moment and interaction without a calculated stragety or defense protocol is where I want to stand firm. Constantly working on me to be a greater version of the woman you see.